Mistresses, Slaves and Submissives

…Apparently slaves and submissives are 2 different things! Or so I learnt in my Mistress class for beginners I attended on the Saturday just gone.

I booked this class 2 weeks before hand and once I paid the deposit, I had to go. I have always wanted to explore the fetish scene but never really had the knowledge on where to begin. Funnily enough I found this class through my Twitter account (@confessdating) and I had no idea what I was in for when I booked it!

I did not know there were so many fetishes and so many definitions and types of Mistresses and slaves! Let me breakdown some of what I learnt:

Slaves = These people are there for YOUR pleasure and to do what YOU want, clean, cook etc.

Submissive = They will tell you what THEY want and what THEY enjoy and you just act it out as their Mistress. You are obviously still in control.

Pro Domme = I’m pretty sure if I remember correctly that they do this for a living.

Goddess = Have people lounging around all the time doing what every she wants and they are like puppies.

Findom = A Dom who pretends to be this princess who sits on her satin pillows all day and men send her money and gifts. She has to maintain this persona online all the time. It is not necessary for her to meet them in person or show her flesh.

Mistress = Is as the word means, bit on the side! Not always though! Doesn’t have to be about sex and you can get paid if you want to!

That was just a snippet of what I learnt. People often have this perception of a Pro – Domme or a Mistress as a this tough woman who whips men. No! Not at all! I was so relieved to hear that you do not have to be that way to be a Mistress because I much prefer to give pleasure than pain! I believe the pain part compliments the pleasure in that the pleasure is heightened in a way. I would just like to be in control of that pleasure, and thats the kind of Mistress I would be should I decide I want to be one! The Mistress that was taking the class also mentioned that there are certain things she does not do, and as a Mistress you don’t have to do everything! A common misconception! I don’t think I could put needles in someone for example but there’s other stuff I would do. She also mentioned that she only “plays” with guys that she fancies otherwise she sees no point! They give her something like fixing up her house, and they get what they want which isn’t always sex, sounds like a pretty amazing deal to me!

Then came the rope bondage….

I, fucking, loved it! I need to go to another class that specifically teaches rope bondage! There was something about the restriction of the chest harness and the control of my pleasure being in someone else’s hands that was great! There was no nudity or anything; that would have been a fetish party!

I am not sure how far I will delve into this fetish scene… maybe not so much that my blog has to change to Confessions of the Mistress! But maybe enough to give those of you who know little to nothing about the scene some insight.

I will keep you posted!



Speed Dating Part 2: What are the chances?

After I told my friend Hannah about the speed dating I went on with Mia she wanted to go too so I arranged another day to go. This time there were only 10 men, which was massively disappointing, but I was at a point where I was comfortable enough in myself to not care so much about what the outcome of this speed dating would be.

Long story short, I saw a guy there that was at the 1st round of speed dating and he and 6 other guys ticked Hannah and 6 guys ticked me. One of those guys called me intimidating because I was dressed professionally. This made met think that if he feels that way he can fuck off with his tick. I was not impressed with any of them and nor was Hannah so we decided to get a free event because that’s what http://www.speeddater.co.uk guarantees if you do not meet anyone. Hannah lied on the site but did in fact meet Harry and another guy called Roy. She went on a few dates with both and decided eventually to tell them she was no longer interested so that was that… or so we thought.

We booked our free event and Mia came with us on this occasion too. All 3 of us are at the bar and Hannah all of a sudden becomes hysterical! She then runs behind me and says that she saw Roy walk into the bar and she can’t let him see her because she blew him off just last week! This was just way too good of a blog story to be true! What are the chances of that ever happening? Quite high chances apparently! It was so ironic because Hannah and I joked previously about seeing the same people again and laughed it off because the changes were just so slim. This night was going to be interesting!

Roy saw Hannah and straight away it was awkward! Much to my entertainment! We then moved from the bar to our seats and Hannah was getting weird glances and stares from the girl that Roy came in with. This girl was obviously hating and Roy was obviously bitching. Hannah then noticed another guy that was at the previous speed dating who ticked me. This made me cringe a little bit because I will then have to face this fool again! Just a little background info on Hannah, she is so blind! This guy was on the otherside of a partician so I have no idea how she recognised him! She said she recognised his egg shape head.

The speed dating commenced and Roy got round to me first, he made all these snide comments about Hannah being my side-kick and how he’s going to take a 3 minute break next when he has to talk to Hannah. What a sarkey needy little bitch… and this guy wonders why the fuck he has never been laid and puts it down to himself being a serious christian, lies! This bitch should then be going to the many christian speed dating events, not the ones for professionals if thats how he feels!

See I don't lie! So he is just a needy little bitch!

See I don’t lie! So he is just a needy little bitch!

He should have felt lucky because my girl Hannah is way out of his league and he needs to go and grow a set! Maybe if he did he wouldn’t be friend zoned all the time! I cannot stand men like Roy, man the fuck up and be cool about it, it’s not like she owed you anything! Where are all these men with vaginas coming from!?

Anyway the massive vagina moved on to my friend Mia and then I had to talk to the the guy who ticket me last time… he mentioned that he remembered me and I handled this situation by denying that I remembered him, which he probably knew was an outright lie because there were 10 guys to remember and he was the only black one! I just stuck out the 3 mins and he moved on.

4 guys turned up late and I got a chance to speak to 2 of them, Mark and Ian. Mark was nice, was very interested in my job and Ian was a drunk fool. After the event Ian decided to come and talk to us and this drunkard was flinging his arms about so much he spilt all my wine on my trousers… didn’t say sorry, didn’t offer to buy me a new one, he just sat there looking shocked. Hannah had to help me dry my trousers under the dryer in the toilets while I stood half naked in a cubical. What a dick head…

Anyway, at this point I was so ready to go! I put on coat and was on my way out till I saw Mia and Hannah sitting down with Mark, his friend Sergi and Warren. Warren was the cutest guy in there (which wasn’t hard) and he was already holding hands with some girl he just met that evening… he was obviously there to tap it and leave it and it didn’t matter who it was! The Ian came and sat with us… I made a comment to Sergi ‘How do you work with this guy!?’ and everyone when silent… I was like… lighten the fuck up guys it was a joke!!!!! It was at this point I realised these guys took themselves way to seriously and I can’t handle people who can’t handle a light hearted joke, I mean, come back at me with ‘Ahh he’s not so bad are you Ian?’ After this I was REALLY ready to go…

The next day both Hannah and I got ticks from Mark and Sergi… we did think about manipulating that situation but I had no intentions of adding 2 more people to my list, way too much effort!


OMG you are beautiful!

Now there is no doubt about it that there are incredibly beautiful men out there and equally women but half the time they are not all they are cracked up to be, here’s a few things that you MUST think about from my experience:

  1. If this beautiful person is not smiling with their teeth in all pictures they send you/show on their profile pictures they are more than likely going to have the most horrendous teeth on the planet. Teeth for me are a massive part of attraction and I personally cannot handle dirty teeth.
  2. Guys who take chest pictures of themselves need to calm down, yes you have a nice body but this person more than likely wants to have sex and nothing else. If they save those pictures for you until after you talk, exchange numbers and meet then they aren’t as full of themselves as the others. They know they have a personality to back themselves up.
  3. Beautiful people can be crazy too, they may not be wheedling a gun or a machete in their hands in the picture that you are seeing but don’t get too hooked up on their looks because they may just not be who you really want them to be. They could be crazy with a fetish for GBH or murder or they are just boring…
  4. Good looking people are not always good kissers… they are good looking because they may be compensating for something else. Well… it wouldn’t be fair if they were perfect right? God wouldn’t make someone so prefect right?… Right? hmmm
  5. If you cannot see their face very well it is for a reason… They are letting their body do all the talking! When you see their face you may just get the shock of your life! Remember ANYONE can have a good body with the right diet, exercise and motivation.
  6. If someone is constantly messaging you and you have ignored them before then DO NOT give in! This is a straight up trait of desperation! If they then insult you because you have not responded then even more reason to stay away because they are trying to guilt trip you! Now no one wants a relationship with someone like that now do they? If this has not happened to you then count yourself lucky!

    This guy would not leave me alone after I told him I am not giving him my number!

    This guy would not leave me alone after I told him I am not giving him my number!

Okay so what we have learnt from these points is to go with someone who is mediocre… sorted!

Just a tip for men… Don’t be a little bitch its a turn off! Play it cool and don’t act so desperate! Especially 2 hours after the original message! I may have just been interested but busy!!!:

I’m definitely not going to message you back now!

desperation at its finest!

desperation at its finest!

– ConfessionsOfTheConfusedWoman