I recently found a blog that caught my interest. It is no longer being updated which is a shame because I would still love to read what he had to say. I came across it by searching one of the search terms put into google that lead that viewer to my blog; “My ex wife is a slag on POF UK” weird… anyway, I came across it within that search. The summary that was given on google intrigued me so I decided to have a look. The guy writing this was talking about his bad experiences on POF in particular and the way women treat men. Ashamed to say I agree with him to some degree! Only some…about 20% I can’t even lie that I behave like the women he has come across.
He categorises all the women on the site in a bad way to conclude that women are just as bad, if not worse than men. I think he is particularly bitter because of his bad experience. From what he says I can tell that he is not the best looking man, he hasn’t got tattoos and rides a motorbike (apparently that’s what western women are looking for, I assume he is talking about American women as I don’t think this is a British person.) I like tattoos but a motorbike is neither here nor there for me.
There is one entry where he writes about a colleague of his who complains about men “making moves on her when she barely knew them and it made her sick. She proclaimed she was looking for a nice guy.” Okay, well fair enough… But then his story progresses, she then complains about the nice guy that she met and that he isn’t making any moves on her, she’s finding it weird and he hasn’t got any tattoos to show that he is tough and can protect her in a fight. (long story, short). I know this to be a desired trait amongst my female friends, the feeling of safety and protection from their man, which I would assume (I know it’s never good to assume but I have no time for research right now) stems from a primitive time. We see such behaviour in animals where the male who wins the battle gets the female. Yes I understand we are more evolved than that but as advanced as we are we still have some kind of primitive influence, we are still animals. Agree or disagree?
As for this girl to throw away a good man then is this right? Just because she is not getting the treatment that she is used to she is complaining, but the treatment that she is used to makes her sick? What does she want? Now of course this is here-say and probably somewhat bias as this is coming from a man’s blog, but let’s say that every part of his story is truth. What does this girl want? What exactly is she looking for? An in between would be ideal I guess! Apparently a few months later she was still on POF looking for that, what I am guessing, in-between. Now, I am a strong believer in not settling if you don’t feel like that person is right for you but do we risk being alone, waiting for this fairy tale Prince who slays drunk guys hitting on you inappropriately; you in one hand and a sword in the other? Whilst being the social drinker who is bubbly and outgoing, gets on with everyone and treat you like a princess? Waiting on you hand and foot but being a real man in bed? Being forever faithful and honest so much so that he wouldn’t even dare look at another woman in a sexual way? But how many men are all of the above? (not that I am looking for the above, just trying to paint a picture of perfection, of course everyone has their preferences). How many women are that perfect too? How many of us wait on out husband hand and foot whist building a career and looking after kids like the modern wife supposedly is expected to do? How many women maintain a sexually appealing dress sense all the time and are good at sex? How many women don’t nag and iron all her men’s shirts showing complete selflessness? (Okay that’s just a typical general view of what men may want, I’m going extremely typical here! I don’t know what men want really hence the name of my blog!) My point is, nobody is perfect.
In another entry he talks about women who take pride in rejecting or ignoring men; women who love the attention to make their egos grow. I have to admit, I like the attention and attraction does factor into a lot of my choices. In a social open environment would you go up to the person you found the least attractive and strike up a conversation in the hope that he/she is a “nice guy/girl” and he/she could be the one? Usually I find people end up with people that they are not initially attracted to because they have known them prior to that as friends or the conversation started off as friendly with friendship intentions and progressed into attraction. I will find it extremely hard to believe that anyone will go up to what you believed to be the least attractive person in the room with sexual intentions or with intentions to get into a relationship, unless of course you were being a horrible person and doing it for a joke.
The truth I believe is online dating has given us all opportunity to be arseholes. To be picky, to abuse and deceive people by posting pictures that are not true reflections of ourselves and take the piss out of people by laughing at some of their profiles or messages. To speak to people only in the hope to hook up. I will openly admit that I do all of the above from time to time, a part from the pictures because I try to put ones up that look like me. Maybe there was a time in the beginning where this was all much more genuine but you give people this kind of platform people will use it in any way they want.
I’ve been ignored by men before but shit happens and you move on! Why dwell on the fact that that person doesn’t regard you worthy of their time? Who cares about them? A for all you know this could a virtual person “catfish”? What matters is that YOU believe that YOU are a great person worthy of a great partner. I believe the trick to finding that person is believing that you are worthy! On and offline, being careful to not become to egotistical. Don’t start you messages with, “you are way out of my league” NO! You send that message like a boss! If they aren’t interested, you send another message to someone else like a boss! Online dating is hard to say the least, the people on it can be shallow and treat others like commodities (Tinder is a perfect example of this). Unfortunately this is something that has to be dealt with when entering the world of online dating. We, men and women, can be just as bad as each other.
To POFsucks1, online dating is what it is, let the shallow, indecisive women forever eternally search for their non-existent perfect man, that’s their choice. You expressed your distaste and dissatisfaction for the whole things so you done the right thing by getting out of it! Unfortunately, I don’t agree with the biased way you monitored your blog, full of insecure men always thinking that the women they meet are too good to be true and digging to find something wrong with them so that they can prove a point! Only featuring women that agree with you to feed your belief that all women online are all the same gold digging, egotistical, self-centred, shallow women. Such a desirable trait of control you show by filtering your blog in such a way that it suppresses women’s differing opinion; only to feature disgruntled single men who think they are clearly some kind of gift to the world and women online and we should all be grateful for all you “nice” guys that hide behind a computer and judge us on your blog! ALL women online must be like this because YOU say so! You, my dear, are an old, bitter arsehole who is upset that his first attempts for a new relationship after this FAILED marriage, below and behold, failed. 4 months after your marriage you were on POF? How about you concentrate on figuring out who you are without your wife rather than trying to suppress your hurt feelings by masking them with the presence of someone else to comfort you? THEN maybe you should look into a new relationship. Good luck, I hope you find your perfect woman to suppress! Arsehole!