Women Are Just as Bad as Men!

I recently found a blog that caught my interest. It is no longer being updated which is a shame because I would still love to read what he had to say. I came across it by searching one of the search terms put into google that lead that viewer to my blog; “My ex wife is a slag on POF UK” weird… anyway, I came across it within that search. The summary that was given on google intrigued me so I decided to have a look. The guy writing this was talking about his bad experiences on POF in particular and the way women treat men. Ashamed to say I agree with him to some degree! Only some…about 20% I can’t even lie that I behave like the women he has come across.

He categorises all the women on the site in a bad way to conclude that women are just as bad, if not worse than men. I think he is particularly bitter because of his bad experience. From what he says I can tell that he is not the best looking man, he hasn’t got tattoos and rides a motorbike (apparently that’s what western women are looking for, I assume he is talking about American women as I don’t think this is a British person.) I like tattoos but a motorbike is neither here nor there for me.

There is one entry where he writes about a colleague of his who complains about men “making moves on her when she barely knew them and it made her sick. She proclaimed she was looking for a nice guy.” Okay, well fair enough… But then his story progresses, she then complains about the nice guy that she met and that he isn’t making any moves on her, she’s finding it weird and he hasn’t got any tattoos to show that he is tough and can protect her in a fight. (long story, short). I know this to be a desired trait amongst my female friends, the feeling of safety and protection from their man, which I would assume (I know it’s never good to assume but I have no time for research right now) stems from a primitive time. We see such behaviour in animals where the male who wins the battle gets the female. Yes I understand we are more evolved than that but as advanced as we are we still have some kind of primitive influence, we are still animals. Agree or disagree?

As for this girl to throw away a good man then is this right? Just because she is not getting the treatment that she is used to she is complaining, but the treatment that she is used to makes her sick? What does she want? Now of course this is here-say and probably somewhat bias as this is coming from a man’s blog, but let’s say that every part of his story is truth. What does this girl want? What exactly is she looking for? An in between would be ideal I guess! Apparently a few months later she was still on POF looking for that, what I am guessing, in-between. Now, I am a strong believer in not settling if you don’t feel like that person is right for you but do we risk being alone, waiting for this fairy tale Prince who slays drunk guys hitting on you inappropriately; you in one hand and a sword in the other? Whilst being the social drinker who is bubbly and outgoing, gets on with everyone and treat you like a princess? Waiting on you hand and foot but being a real man in bed? Being forever faithful and honest so much so that he wouldn’t even dare look at another woman in a sexual way? But how many men are all of the above? (not that I am looking for the above, just trying to paint a picture of perfection, of course everyone has their preferences). How many women are that perfect too? How many of us wait on out husband hand and foot whist building a career and looking after kids like the modern wife supposedly is expected to do? How many women maintain a sexually appealing dress sense all the time and are good at sex? How many women don’t nag and iron all her men’s shirts showing complete selflessness? (Okay that’s just a typical general view of what men may want, I’m going extremely typical here! I don’t know what men want really hence the name of my blog!) My point is, nobody is perfect.

In another entry he talks about women who take pride in rejecting or ignoring men; women who love the attention to make their egos grow. I have to admit, I like the attention and attraction does factor into a lot of my choices. In a social open environment would you go up to the person you found the least attractive and strike up a conversation in the hope that he/she is a “nice guy/girl” and he/she could be the one? Usually I find people end up with people that they are not initially attracted to because they have known them prior to that as friends or the conversation started off as friendly with friendship intentions and progressed into attraction. I will find it extremely hard to believe that anyone will go up to what you believed to be the least attractive person in the room with sexual intentions or with intentions to get into a relationship, unless of course you were being a horrible person and doing it for a joke.

The truth I believe is online dating has given us all opportunity to be arseholes. To be picky, to abuse and deceive people by posting pictures that are not true reflections of ourselves and take the piss out of people by laughing at some of their profiles or messages. To speak to people only in the hope to hook up. I will openly admit that I do all of the above from time to time, a part from the pictures because I try to put ones up that look like me. Maybe there was a time in the beginning where this was all much more genuine but you give people this kind of platform people will use it in any way they want.

I’ve been ignored by men before but shit happens and you move on! Why dwell on the fact that that person doesn’t regard you worthy of their time? Who cares about them? A for all you know this could a virtual person “catfish”? What matters is that YOU believe that YOU are a great person worthy of a great partner. I believe the trick to finding that person is believing that you are worthy! On and offline, being careful to not become to egotistical. Don’t start you messages with, “you are way out of my league” NO! You send that message like a boss! If they aren’t interested, you send another message to someone else like a boss! Online dating is hard to say the least, the people on it can be shallow and treat others like commodities (Tinder is a perfect example of this). Unfortunately this is something that has to be dealt with when entering the world of online dating. We, men and women, can be just as bad as each other.

To POFsucks1, online dating is what it is, let the shallow, indecisive women forever eternally search for their non-existent perfect man, that’s their choice. You expressed your distaste and dissatisfaction for the whole things so you done the right thing by getting out of it! Unfortunately, I don’t agree with the biased way you monitored your blog, full of insecure men always thinking that the women they meet are too good to be true and digging to find something wrong with them so that they can prove a point! Only featuring women that agree with you to feed your belief that all women online are all the same gold digging, egotistical, self-centred, shallow women. Such a desirable trait of control you show by filtering your blog in such a way that it suppresses women’s differing opinion; only to feature disgruntled single men who think they are clearly some kind of gift to the world and women online and we should all be grateful for all you “nice” guys that hide behind a computer and judge us on your blog! ALL women online must be like this because YOU say so! You, my dear, are an old, bitter arsehole who is upset that his first attempts for a new relationship after this FAILED marriage, below and behold, failed. 4 months after your marriage you were on POF? How about you concentrate on figuring out who you are without your wife rather than trying to suppress your hurt feelings by masking them with the presence of someone else to comfort you? THEN maybe you should look into a new relationship. Good luck, I hope you find your perfect woman to suppress! Arsehole!

http://pofsucks1.wordpress.com/

-ConfessionsOfTheConfusedWoman

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The No1 Dating and Calling Rule: Don’t Call Me…

Communicating by phone seems to be something of the past these days. To talk to someone on the phone seems to be a distant memory for me when it comes to not only the dating world but my social world in general. Of course I make calls at work considering I deal with many different people globally but when a potential asks me if it’s okay to call so we can have a chat I find this a little bit strange.

This takes me to the unspoken rule about dating and calling. I am not sure if it is just me but I do not think it is acceptable to call me whenever you like as you go about your daily tasks and you have nothing remotely interesting to say! I have 900 minutes on my phone every month and I honestly use about 10 minutes every month which seems like a waste.

The reason for so many minutes is because I was constantly on the phone to my now ex. As soon as he had a break in the morning he/I would call, he/I would call at lunch and he/I would call after work and again the evening. I never actually realised how time consuming this was for me until this all stopped and I had all this free time! I kind of got used to doing this so when it was no more it felt weird. Now it’s an absolute no go area, especially if we haven’t met yet! Texting gives you the opportunity to go about your daily tasks and reply when you like, I am usually quite quick at replying… If I can be bothered to!

This then brings me to the story of Jack. This was another POF encounter and just so you know I am not really one to just mess around, I’d much prefer to meet you in person so I don’t have to prolong something that I have no interest in, people are often very different in person than they are online (I learnt that the hard way). He was taking his time about meeting and we ended up talking for around 2 weeks before he decided that he had some time to meet. Prior to our date this guy would call me randomly, no text message to say ‘hey is it cool to give you a ring?’ This guy must have called me at least 4 times on one particular day because I would not pick up the phone. I was so not impressed with this guy and he was putting me off before I had even met him. He was treating me like his GF already!

The day before the bank holiday Monday that we were meant to meet up, I messaged him and said that I had to work from home. Which I promise you was true! It was also due to the aforementioned. I tried to soften the blow by calling him sweetie and adding a ‘frustrated’ smiley face… it didn’t work…

Jack Part 1

The best way I can describe ‘boying off’ is bailing out on him.

Jack part 2

It seems to me that this guy is kind of aggressive so I am glad I never went to meet him. By him calling me so much and his response to my message he seems to be controlling too. I couldn’t even consider being in a relationship with that!

You see in the screenshots that he tried again to message me a few days later… fuck that! If I was to ever reply I would need a beating, preferably with my own belt.

-ConfessionsOfTheConfusedWoman

 

Speed Dating Part 2: What are the chances?

After I told my friend Hannah about the speed dating I went on with Mia she wanted to go too so I arranged another day to go. This time there were only 10 men, which was massively disappointing, but I was at a point where I was comfortable enough in myself to not care so much about what the outcome of this speed dating would be.

Long story short, I saw a guy there that was at the 1st round of speed dating and he and 6 other guys ticked Hannah and 6 guys ticked me. One of those guys called me intimidating because I was dressed professionally. This made met think that if he feels that way he can fuck off with his tick. I was not impressed with any of them and nor was Hannah so we decided to get a free event because that’s what http://www.speeddater.co.uk guarantees if you do not meet anyone. Hannah lied on the site but did in fact meet Harry and another guy called Roy. She went on a few dates with both and decided eventually to tell them she was no longer interested so that was that… or so we thought.

We booked our free event and Mia came with us on this occasion too. All 3 of us are at the bar and Hannah all of a sudden becomes hysterical! She then runs behind me and says that she saw Roy walk into the bar and she can’t let him see her because she blew him off just last week! This was just way too good of a blog story to be true! What are the chances of that ever happening? Quite high chances apparently! It was so ironic because Hannah and I joked previously about seeing the same people again and laughed it off because the changes were just so slim. This night was going to be interesting!

Roy saw Hannah and straight away it was awkward! Much to my entertainment! We then moved from the bar to our seats and Hannah was getting weird glances and stares from the girl that Roy came in with. This girl was obviously hating and Roy was obviously bitching. Hannah then noticed another guy that was at the previous speed dating who ticked me. This made me cringe a little bit because I will then have to face this fool again! Just a little background info on Hannah, she is so blind! This guy was on the otherside of a partician so I have no idea how she recognised him! She said she recognised his egg shape head.

The speed dating commenced and Roy got round to me first, he made all these snide comments about Hannah being my side-kick and how he’s going to take a 3 minute break next when he has to talk to Hannah. What a sarkey needy little bitch… and this guy wonders why the fuck he has never been laid and puts it down to himself being a serious christian, lies! This bitch should then be going to the many christian speed dating events, not the ones for professionals if thats how he feels!

See I don't lie! So he is just a needy little bitch!

See I don’t lie! So he is just a needy little bitch!

He should have felt lucky because my girl Hannah is way out of his league and he needs to go and grow a set! Maybe if he did he wouldn’t be friend zoned all the time! I cannot stand men like Roy, man the fuck up and be cool about it, it’s not like she owed you anything! Where are all these men with vaginas coming from!?

Anyway the massive vagina moved on to my friend Mia and then I had to talk to the the guy who ticket me last time… he mentioned that he remembered me and I handled this situation by denying that I remembered him, which he probably knew was an outright lie because there were 10 guys to remember and he was the only black one! I just stuck out the 3 mins and he moved on.

4 guys turned up late and I got a chance to speak to 2 of them, Mark and Ian. Mark was nice, was very interested in my job and Ian was a drunk fool. After the event Ian decided to come and talk to us and this drunkard was flinging his arms about so much he spilt all my wine on my trousers… didn’t say sorry, didn’t offer to buy me a new one, he just sat there looking shocked. Hannah had to help me dry my trousers under the dryer in the toilets while I stood half naked in a cubical. What a dick head…

Anyway, at this point I was so ready to go! I put on coat and was on my way out till I saw Mia and Hannah sitting down with Mark, his friend Sergi and Warren. Warren was the cutest guy in there (which wasn’t hard) and he was already holding hands with some girl he just met that evening… he was obviously there to tap it and leave it and it didn’t matter who it was! The Ian came and sat with us… I made a comment to Sergi ‘How do you work with this guy!?’ and everyone when silent… I was like… lighten the fuck up guys it was a joke!!!!! It was at this point I realised these guys took themselves way to seriously and I can’t handle people who can’t handle a light hearted joke, I mean, come back at me with ‘Ahh he’s not so bad are you Ian?’ After this I was REALLY ready to go…

The next day both Hannah and I got ticks from Mark and Sergi… we did think about manipulating that situation but I had no intentions of adding 2 more people to my list, way too much effort!

-ConfessionsOfTheConfusedWoman

Speed Dating Part 1: Always speed date in a well lit room.

It was coming up to a year of being single and I realised that I needed to get out more and meet people. At the time my confidence was pretty shattered so I was not really in a place to be bounding over to potentials in a bar and making light but funny and interesting conversation; people at work were talking about speed dating and how they wished they had done it so I decided that I may just give it a go. I sent my friend Mia a message asking her if she would be up for it because she had been single for sometime too, she said yes so I booked the event.

The day came and I made the biggest effort with all this hair spray and make-up (as I said before make-up is a massive deal to me!). My colleagues were so excited that they decided to do a quick run through of what I should and shouldn’t say. One suggested that I should ask all of them if they were filthy… I decided not to take their advice.

I arrived at the bar with Mia and we signed in, got a drink and sat down at our designated tables and waited for the event to start. It was all really overwhelming at the time because you had to write down names and thoughts and comments so you could remember the person and give them a yes, no or maybe. It was also extremely dark in there and loud so I had to lean in quite a lot to hear what people were saying. A few of the guys were normal, some were super nerdy, some were interesting, some were total weirdos, some were drunk and most of them were accountants… I am yet to meet a super interesting accountant… just saying. Don’t get me wrong the best thing about speed dating is that you are talking to people you would never normally talk to and your immediate thoughts on their looks can completely change when they talk to you.

Anyway, one guy sat down in front of me and looked like he was going to cry and be sick, I asked him if he was okay and he told me he is recovering from the flu… nice… Another told me that he worked as someone who decided if criminals were fit to go back on the street, I thought that this guy was way to mental to be deciding things like that… maybe he’s the reason why crime in London seems to be getting worse! I found myself looking to my right constantly to see who was next… I sighed almost all 24 times… As shallow as it sounded ‘where were all the hot people!?’ In a awesome bar somewhere amazing probably and here I was talking to a bunch of boring crazy arse fuckers with my hair a stiff as a board! A couple of the guys were kinda cute so I gave them a tick and thought I would try my luck.

After the event I went online and entered my ticks… I only got one which was a little disappointing for me at the time (now I am like fuck you guys I am amazing! haha). The guy I got a mutual tick from was a postman called Peter, it was so dark in there that I couldn’t really remember if he was my type or not but he looked cute from the picture he displayed so I decided to give him a chance. Biggest mistake of my life… that badly lit room screwed me the hell over. He was skinny which I find so unattractive to the point where it makes me feel sick and he needed some dental work. Not to mention he was boring as hell… I went on 2 dates with this guy because apparently something inside me wanted me to suffer a slow, painful and silent death as conversation with him was so difficult… He was a postman for goodness sake! What did I have in common with him!? I work in the creative industry!?

On both dates this guy always wanted to drag the date out. WHY!? He could not see that we were just no where near compatible as maybe he would have hoped because I just wanted to pay my half of the bill and piss off. I blame the badly lit room for my poor judgement! When I decided to go on PlentyOfFish a few months later who viewed my profile… yep… the postman. After the 2nd date I decided to take a 5 month break from dating until July where I went speed dating again with my friend Hannah. (To be continued…)

-ConfessionsOfTheConfusedWoman

What I would really like to say on a dating site…

The most popular free sites for dating in the UK is Plenty Of Fish (POF) and OkCupid… Well I don’t know this but these are the only two I have heard of. Now, if you want something more serious then I would suggest using OkCupid. This is because it has all these other features where they actually use some kind of science where they match you with potentials. POF just seems to randomly pick things out the air…

The great thing about these sites are that they are free for the most part and you can chose to pay a little extra to have the extra privilege of different search preferences… why? I have no idea… anyway, because people can then message you for free I get a hell of a lot of messages that piss me off. Especially when my phone goes off constantly in the night and I’m forced to put my phone on silent and wake up to 22 notifications saying the same damn thing! I almost never respond to these messages because they annoy me so much but here is what I would like to say to some of these people mixed in with things I have actually said to people… enjoy!

Whats with all the questions!?

Whats with all the questions!?

Wow! I actually got worried!

Piss off!

I’m not really interested in your everyday life tasks… I was hoping you would get a little more interesting… (block)

Okay… creepy!

Ah my personal favourite… I did make a typo though! Damn you fat fingers!

Ahh that’s nice… -_-

Erm… what friends? I can’t see anyone else in this room besides me… oh wait, thats because we are talking online and not in a club!

:S What does S or S mean… spit or… OH MY GOD! (Block)

You wish mate…

There will be plenty more so I will keep you all updated, I hope you enjoyed the above, thats the few I picked out amongst the 10 billion ‘Hi, How are you?’ messages!

-ConfessionsOfTheConfusedWoman

OMG you are beautiful!

Now there is no doubt about it that there are incredibly beautiful men out there and equally women but half the time they are not all they are cracked up to be, here’s a few things that you MUST think about from my experience:

  1. If this beautiful person is not smiling with their teeth in all pictures they send you/show on their profile pictures they are more than likely going to have the most horrendous teeth on the planet. Teeth for me are a massive part of attraction and I personally cannot handle dirty teeth.
  2. Guys who take chest pictures of themselves need to calm down, yes you have a nice body but this person more than likely wants to have sex and nothing else. If they save those pictures for you until after you talk, exchange numbers and meet then they aren’t as full of themselves as the others. They know they have a personality to back themselves up.
  3. Beautiful people can be crazy too, they may not be wheedling a gun or a machete in their hands in the picture that you are seeing but don’t get too hooked up on their looks because they may just not be who you really want them to be. They could be crazy with a fetish for GBH or murder or they are just boring…
  4. Good looking people are not always good kissers… they are good looking because they may be compensating for something else. Well… it wouldn’t be fair if they were perfect right? God wouldn’t make someone so prefect right?… Right? hmmm
  5. If you cannot see their face very well it is for a reason… They are letting their body do all the talking! When you see their face you may just get the shock of your life! Remember ANYONE can have a good body with the right diet, exercise and motivation.
  6. If someone is constantly messaging you and you have ignored them before then DO NOT give in! This is a straight up trait of desperation! If they then insult you because you have not responded then even more reason to stay away because they are trying to guilt trip you! Now no one wants a relationship with someone like that now do they? If this has not happened to you then count yourself lucky!

    This guy would not leave me alone after I told him I am not giving him my number!

    This guy would not leave me alone after I told him I am not giving him my number!

Okay so what we have learnt from these points is to go with someone who is mediocre… sorted!

Just a tip for men… Don’t be a little bitch its a turn off! Play it cool and don’t act so desperate! Especially 2 hours after the original message! I may have just been interested but busy!!!:

I’m definitely not going to message you back now!

desperation at its finest!

desperation at its finest!

– ConfessionsOfTheConfusedWoman