Polycystic Ovaries = Less of a Woman (Apparently)

I have known for a long time that I wouldn’t be able to naturally conceive. I’d have to consume strong steroids amongst other undesirable methods to be able to trick my body into ovulating. While I believe that science has brought us a long way, nature also dictates; and nature has dictated to me that I should not be having children. While I do not judge women who do, do this I personally do not want to do this to my body.

Because of my ovaries I have had a number of issues stemming from this, typically with Polycystic ovaries (PCOS)…

  • I am hairier than the average girl
  • I am hypoglycaemic
  • I have alopecia
PCOS Awareness Infographic

PCOS Awareness Infographic (PRNewsFoto/PCOS Challenge, Inc.)

Outside of this…

  • I am lactose intolerant

While some hereditary and some not I have no desperate need to want to pass such ailments on to my kids!

I have slowly found out all of the above at different times in my life which has enabled me to cope with all of them at separate times. And I am okay with them. I have dealt with them in different ways and while I have painted myself as this bloated, diabetic, patchy chimp I have had no issues pulling, but I digress.

I was faced today with someone who told me that this infertility issue was a deal breaker, and it made me really upset! Then angry. I knew full well that this would be the case with a lot of men but I actually thought about this and put it in context. While the guy I that said it to me is a love interest and I absolutely adore, I couldn’t help but get annoyed. It’s not his fault, we are hard wired as humans to want to do repopulate the earth. But I felt less of a woman for a split second because I wasn’t able to do one of the most primitive of things, reproduce.

But I have so much more to offer that was completely overlooked by him, I have been told I am generous, funny, helpful and caring and that I do my best to make things special for people. I graft real hard for the people I care about and I will not be reduced down by a maneven my female gynaecologist, to the ability of my ovaries. I did not choose this life, even if I had an option it wouldn’t be to pop out 15 kids. This is what was given and I am dealing with it in the ways that I am able to. When I am in a financially better position I will 100% adopt a child who deserves a good loving home and you can place bets on that. But I am naturally restricted to having my own; so that makes me less of a desirable candidate than someone who can? Nah.

My “broken” ovaries make me who I am; ailments and all. My physical imperfections, my wretched anxiety and my inability to digest lactose make me special, make me different from the next woman so I do not need your…

“Oh that must suck!”

or your

“Is that okay with you though?”

or your

“Really? Does that not bother you?”

What? That I cannot create a baby? Because that is my sole purpose?
Would that make me more normal? More of a stronger structure in society?

My ovaries are a part of me but do not define my sheer existence in regards to my contribution to the world as we know it. There is more to me than that; there is more to YOU than that.

I am me and I am beautiful, inside and out.

-ConfessionsOfTheConfusedWoman

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3 thoughts on “Polycystic Ovaries = Less of a Woman (Apparently)

  1. I was given the same tale about my PCOS and never naturally having children.

    So I came off the pill & 2 weeks later I was pregnant. Never mind the rigmarole I had to suffer to terminate because of my “condition”.

    The message I’m trying to convey is that even with PCOS you can concieve. Don’t let the Drs tell you otherwise. My girlfriend also has PCOS and has 2 beautiful children without aid.

    Like

    • Oh no they have told my mum the same thing and here she is with 3 children. Difference with me is I just don’t ovulate. I’ve been off the pill for 2 years and not once had a period despite me being really fit and healthy. Of course they freaked out because the lining if my womb wasn’t stable because I hadn’t shed in so long.

      Maybe my body will sort itself out in a few years but I’ve kind of reside to the fact that I won’t have kids and it doesn’t bother me. It just bothers me that even though I can have children and made the conscious choice not to, it makes me “weird” to everyone else. I shouldn’t be seen as a baby machine.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I hear you on the baby machine front. I’m still childless by choice and wouldn’t change it for the world. Yet somehow I’ve wasted my life and potential. *rolls eyes*

        I sometimes get my period 2 times a month or not bleed for months on end. Drs are sometimes wrong 🙂

        Don’t let the men and other people pull you down. It’s hard enough dealing with our own bodies rebelling against us let alone anything else.

        Liked by 1 person

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