I don’t have any idea what a typical female profile looks like but I have a pretty good idea of what mens profiles look like and frankly, I am getting bored of it. Let me go really typical and see if I can briefly reconstruct 10 typical male profiles.
Profile 1: The lad
I like to go out and have fun with my mates, always out on the weekend getting pissed and I am looking for a beautiful, fun and bubbly girl who is always up for a laugh. I also don’t mind having a cuddle on in front of the telly and a nice take away with the misses.
Profile 2: The bear wrestling adventurist
I love traveling and seeing new things. I love to explore, hike, camp, fish, and just nonchalantly walk the great walk of China and wrestle wild animals in Kenya. I’m pretty much Bear Grylls!
Profile 3: The meat head
Gym, girls, clubs, sex. That is all because all of that makes me totally irresistible. I am not oozing sexually transmitted infections at all!
Profile 4: The submissive
I believe in female domination. I enjoy objectification, bondage and generally being a slave. I am willing to be at your beck and call all hours of the day to rub your feet, clean and cook for you. I do not ask for anything in return other than to be your slave.
Profile 5: The lazy bastard
Hey I don’t really know what to put here so just ask because I am lazy and wonder why people don’t bother to reply to me.
Profile 6: The arsehole
No I don’t care about your feelings, I don’t care about your ex, I don’t want to beat your ex up for you, no I don’t want to have babies, I don’t want a baby mother. If you have shagged more than 5 guys you are a slag and I am not interested. I might reply to your message I might not, if not don’t be offended you are probably just ugly. Most of the girls on here are slags anyway. I have female issues probably due to the tons of rejection I have received in the past.
Profile 7: The sports mad
I love to cycle everyday, play football on the weekends and 5 a side on wednesdays. I run at least 4 times a week and I would love to find a girl that will enjoy all of this with me because I have quite honestly lost my mind.
Profile 8: The Loser Nerd
I love video games and comic con, I am currently playing world of warcraft and I am not sure what sunlight looks like. I am not Big Bang Theory nerd where I have intelligence on my side, just a gamer nerd that is too addicted to find a decent job.
Profile 9: The hard worker
I love my job, I have a billion rolexes, own a suede finished Bentley and drive around like a boss. I work really hard but I play harder because that’s not cheesy and cliché at all.
Profile 10: The Socially Awkward
I’m really nervous, shy and socially awkward in person but then once you get to know me and I am comfortable with you then I am actually quite a bubbly person, take pity on me I am really adorable.
I missed out the musician but then I don’t come across many of those guys. I only really have problems with 3, 5, 6 and 8 for fairly obvious reasons.
-ConfessionsOfTheConfusedWoman
Bahahaha oh this is so spot on!! Loved it!
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This is ridiculously good. While Profiles 8,7,4,3,2 & 1 are easily detected, I’ve only discovered the lazy, asshole, painfully shy guys are lazy, shy, assholes after dating them in real life- sneaky buggers.
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I’m glad you liked it. It was a little too easy to reconstruct these profiles which means I’ve been online dating for way too long! Haha but I have only been out with one arsehole. I’m yet to discover a lazy and shy one. Maybe its because they are to shy and lazy online for me to bother taking it further!
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So. Damn. True. If had £1 for every time I read ‘so I’m a pretty laid-back easy-going kinda guy’…
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Every guy on these dating sites are laid back and up for a laugh! Every time I read that my automatic expression is -_- haha! Glad you liked the post!
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Funny thing is, the “10 typical female dating profiles” would basically read exactly the same as this post, with #1 and #5 being the most common.
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1? Really? When I read girls profiles they are usually saying things like, I like to make daisy chains hahaha!
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